Alright, some people have asked for a more personal approach to blogging, instead of just writing crap and making you think that I am just a computer generating crap for a few times per week. But no, I am a person who is able to think outside the box and takes great effort in updating my blog.
What is it about me?
1) I do not litter.
Yes, you can see my face outside, my attitude outside, a person who has a very limited amount of moral values. But in fact, I have a very strong reaction to littering. Seeing others litter is very common, my friends do it in front of me and it hurts me a lot. I cant stand seeing Singapore like this, its not litter-free, its full of litter.
I can hold an empty bottle from City Hall to Lakeside MRT station just so that I could dispose it into a bin, while some will leave it somewhere.
2) I am trying to memorize "pi".
The Pi also known as 3.141592654 or 22 divided by 7 (they are not EXACTLY the same, by the way). I thought that it would be fun memorizing as many decimal places as possible and irritating others by repeatedly repeating the value of pi. In fact, I am able to read to you the first eight digits of the pi!!! And now, I am trying to memorise the next eight.
3) I hate smileys and emoticons.
I have this hatred to smileys and emoticons, so much so that I tell others that the smileys and emoticons they are giving me and very irritating and I havnt typed a smiley or emoticon on purpose for months. I hate them because they are unnecessary to me. And I insisted on NOT making a stickman cartoon to fit this post as it would force me to actually publish a smiley in this pure and anti-smiley blog.
Contest: First to find a smiley in this blog will get a Rabbit Plushie.
Ps. Rabbit Plushie currently out of stock.
4) I bring an extra tie to school every Wednesday.
I got to be kidding, but I am not. I have an extra tie with me, and it would be of no use if it is sitting down there in the cabinet doing nothing. So one day, I thought that I could be out there doing something for the community. And so, I have started bringing an extra tie to school every Wednesday in case anyone forgets to bring their own tie. The tie have saved many of my friend's lives. And I am a non-profit company as I dont exchange the tie in return for money, just a "thank you" will do.
How subjects taught in schools benefit us: Part 5 English
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
(finally a post?)
This is the most difficult subject to learn, and also, the most important(in theory), since, without English, we would not understand ANYTHING (or whatever) on the roads, while walking and even while studying. It is thereby a must to learn English.
"You are a comedian if you do not study English" - AfiQ
Do you know which group of people are natural comedians? They are people who dont speak English. They dont know it, they dont realize it. If they have their own blogs, I will surely visit them.
Example 1:
Push little bit back ward to stop? Doesn't really make any sense, right? This is another reason why you must learn English, without it, no one can understand you.
Example 2:
Use a knife to cut off unneeded tape!!?? You crazy? You _____ (insert custom made vulgarity, as this blog is family oriented)? Imagine someone bringing a knife for their examinations. Crazy.
Example 3:
Avoid a direct ray of light? LOL, how are you going to see the cardboard if you have to keep running faster than light to avoid them?
The point is, without English, everyone can trick you to choosing the wrong answer, let say, a question in a math examination:-
Ema have the most number of sweets. Who have the most number of sweets?
1) Jacky 2) Lily 3) Ema 4) Toilet Roll
Everyone knows the answer, of course its Jacky who have the most number of sweets. DUH. Without English, I would have guessed that it was Ema who have the most number of sweets.
First, there was text content; Word by word by word. Then, there was pictures; stickman and stupid people jumping off building. After, there was videos; frame by frame, slow motion and bullet time.
NOW....
There is Flash Animation!!!
I have created a few crappy animations and would like to show you my creation.
The downward pointing finger. It is an interesting gesture as it is able to change its meaning depending on the context of the situation. An IQ of above 2 is required to be able to recognize and react to this gesture. This gesture is so complicated that I warn you, my readers that this post could stress you out and worst still, if your family is viewing this post, please keep children below 8 years old in the toilet.
The gesture has about 4 meanings.
1) "Come here, at this spot."
When a person see the finger, they will move towards the spot where the finger is pointing at. This is the most basic meaning of the downwards pointing finger. Therefore, I would not explain this.
2) During spot check.
One will use this gesture to show the teacher that his fingernails are trimmed well and not long as, this gesture indicates confidence. When a person DO NOT show this gesture, their fingernails are sure to be long.
3) I have only one something
This is by far the most difficult to recognize. Sometimes this gesture indicates that one has only one of something as, if you turn his finger upside down, you will get a "1".
4) Trick.
They use this gesture to trick their victims by luring them to looking at an object below and calling them the object. (doesnt make sense, but thats not important)
This may be an untaught subject in most secondary schools but this is one of the most important subjects. Health education is a subject that teaches people on keeping one clean and free of bacteria on their body. This is the current topics that will be tested in next year's GCE "O" and "A" level.
1) Washing the right hand 2) Coughing without spitting 3) Swimming pool ethics 4) *Washing the left hand (only for "A" levels) 5) How to wash faeces from a butt 6) Sweeping the floor 7) *How to wash faeces from a butt using a tissue (only for "A" levels) 8) *Vacuuming the floor (only for "A" levels) 9) Not smoking
As you can see, the topics with the asterisk is very difficult and only for those taking the "A" levels.
Let us now go back to our topic on how Health education can be of any importance to us.
So, I review topic number 9 on Not smoking. ---------------------
" As you all know, some people smoke. We should not smoke because it speeds up global warming. That is why the government is trying to limit the number of smokers and the opportunity for them to smoke, such as their inability to smoke in places of entertainment such as pubs and coffeeshop, and they are called coffee shops because the only thing they sell is coffee. Now, the question is, am I telling you the truth? " - Mr Mohamed Afiq, Ph.D Health Education.
Health education is also important in everyday life:-
Without Health Education, our hand may not be as clean as it is now, and we may not know how to use the soap properly. As you can see by now, health education should be taught in my school and I am very sure that this is why people who are old, as in, those not schooling, are smokers. I think that our prime minister have learnt a lot on Health Education.
(And now, afiq is complaining that he have 5 more part to the "How subjects taught in school benefits us" series.)
But, people from all walks of life, old, young, boy, girl, small, big, fat, thin, those just walked out of Mental Hospital have proven that Singapore is NOT convenient at all. There are evidences everywhere and the most obvious is walking paths.
After walking around Singapore for 13 hours and 14 seconds, I found 231.4 "paths" which I will be calling, shortcuts. these shortcuts are usually ex-grassland turned desert. These poor grasses had been stepped till they were killed, as, the shoes block sunlight from reaching their leaves, thus, they die.
Here are the pictures I took, along with arrows showing the different paths one will take, with blue being the shortcut.
Damn it, why, Singapore, why must you be so cruel?!
But seriously? You look at the title and wondered why is it "old man...with young girl". This is the reason why:-
On Sunday, I took bus service 30 to my friends house. I sat at the second deck and after a few stops, a pretty Chinese girl walked pass and sat at the chair beside the one I was sitting on. Okay, going well, nothing weird. At the same time, an old man was behind her, and so I thought, with their great age difference, they are not together. So this man walked and....sat beside the girl.
I was thinking, oh, father and child. Ok, nothing weird. Normal.
Sounds. I looked to my left. Why the hell is the man touching the girls lap, and his head resting on the girl's shoulder. I am going to tell you something very disgusting, but my blog is family-oriented, this blog encourages family togetherness and so, if you want to know what I am going to tell you, please read on.
(By reading this sentence, you agree not to call Afiq a pervert as what he is going to write is only what he saw, and not made up)
The man was attempting to touch the girl's breasts.
Seriously. Dont believe? As you all know, no one is safe near me and my phone. Anything interesting would be caught on tape. And that is what I did. Here is a video of the man's attempt on touching the girl's stuffs. You can only see the side view and from a relatively bad angle, but I wasnt skilled enough to do anything more.
Video details:- Man attempts to touch, 00:25 Man places hand onto chest, 00.37
I didnt enjoy the bus ride. The odd couple was very distracting, and personally, I think the girl is a prostitute. But who cares?
( but first, read my official disclaimer at Link )
After (50 times 2 minus a few minutes of wastage) of CME about dating, I became a changed person. Since the two period, Afiq, walked out of the class, a better person. He is now more aware on the process, the objectives, advantages and the disadvantages of dating. An activity carried out by people who receive very little homework, and want to have companions. (that is the answer for the question by the way) (and CME isnt easy) (you actually have to think during CME)
In my case, this is the definition of dating:-
Pronunciation, they-thing. Meaning, and activity carried out by two people of opposite genders, where one MUST hold hands and lie to their parents that they have a project at night.
These are the IMPORTANT phrases that one must say during "dating":-
1) I love you 2) Need any help? 3) Oh, nice shirt youre wearing. 4) Dinner was good. 5) I havnt complete my Additional Math homework yet, can I go home and complete them?
So, why do we date?
These are CME answers:- (note that, for a morally downright person, this is all wrong)
1) Companionship 2) To know each other 3) To just walk around together.
These are the real answers, answers not allowed to be revealed to the public, after the Ministry of Educa*ion realized that 100 percent of pupils went dating after every CME lesson.
1) Well, you know...IT. 2) Have fun 3) Make a basketball team 4) Or even a soccer team 5) Do homework.
(please take note that reason number 5 is to distract readers, so they will still think that dating is a very good thing)
To say that looks do not matter is obviously another human crap. We are designed to be attractive and not attractive, and to like pretty girls even without knowing them is natural. CME, is the propaganda. Without CME, there would be AIDS virus in my body now, and I would be at home with Syphilis and Gonorrhea.
The process of dating is actually very simple:
1) Rendezvous at the usual place. 2) Wear nicely though, unless you want to be dumped. (an activity "female dogs" always do) 3) Say, "What a nice dress you have!!!" 4) Sit down. 5) Eat dinner, while talking about life, but NEVER ever spike her drink, this will cause her to lose consciousness. (oh wait, that is what you want to happen) 6) Say, "I love you". *7) Dump her. 8) End of date.
How subjects taught in school benefits us: Part 3 Math
Thursday, July 05, 2007
By far the most useless subject of all subjects.
|History|
It was found by Isaac Newton while he was sitting under a tree and when an apple dropped on his head, causing his head to bleed vigorously. As he wanted to count the amount of blood he lost, he took out his calculator and attempted to COUNT. But, it was impossible as maths was not invented yet. So, he sat down and wrote the first ten numbers:
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 13.
10,11 and 12 was only invented fifty years later, when someone tried to calculate 13 minus 2, and did not have any such number to do it.
|Present|
Schools all over the world is teaching their students math, and these are several reasons why they have to study math (so importantly).
1) To calculate the 2% increase in GST 2) To pay the government taxes. 3) To NOT be cheated by irresponsible school vendors:-
4) To calculate time left before a ten minutes break. 5) To calculate this equation:-
1 + 1 = A window!!!
Get it? |+| <--------------LOOK!!! Wow, I LOVE math!!!
Ok, that was sarcastic.
So, why are we learning math?
Here is one story:
Britney Spears, who had to serve National Service, went to a barber to get her hair trimmed, and so, the uncle asked her:-
"I think, it would be best if I cut your hair with f(x)=3xx+4x+56 or would you want me to cut your hair which is now |2x-23|=y?"
Britney stood there, nailed to the ground. Her lack of knowledge for math had proven to be fatal at times. So she replied:-
