(This post is purely fictional. Any resemblance to real-life entities is purely coincidental.)

There has been two very recent deaths in one of the educational institutes in Singapore. Both are suicide cases. This is a very depressing sign of today's corroding morals in this country, just kidding. But then again, suicide cases are not funny and should always be prevented at all costs. The reason is because if a lot of people commit suicide, there will be a lot of bodies to take care off. these bodies must be carried off and placed into a proper burial or such and the blood that they leave behind must be washed off properly. To make it worse, Singapore is already facing spatial constraints.


To solve this problem, the government will be further enforcing the law against committing suicide. This is to prevent those who commit suicide successfully from dying which allowed many to escape from court. The punishment will be based on the number of floors jumped.

In more and extreme detail:-

1 to 3 floors - 5 years of imprisonment.
4 to 7 floors - Up to 8 years of imprisonment and 3 strokes of the cane.
7 to 10 floors - Will be forced to listen to Jay Chou.
11 and above - Death.


To prevent more people from committing suicide, the government will disallow any new buildings to have a first floor. This will prevent anyone who is committing suicide from landing.

There was another suggestion to place trampolines along the sides of a building but this proposal was rejected because a recent test in England has found out that those who landed on the trampoline bounced off and killed themselves somewhere else.

Another suggestion was to remove all existing windows from all residential building to prevent people from "jumping through the window." This was later rejected as they realised that removing the windows caused a hole to be formed.

The last suggestion was to paste JayChou(s) on the floor but was also rejected as too many girls were attracted to it.


Picture credits:-

http://www.englishbaby.com/forum/Music/thread/124830

http://www.rollingstone.com/news/story/21023786/top_10_the_best_in_tv_the_web_books_and_beyond/print

http://www.resurrectionsong.com/index.php/weblog/2007/04/

http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_6240000/newsid_6246500/6246562.stm

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1 Comments:

HELLOOOOOOOZXC afiq :D

By  ClaraH., at April 26, 2009 9:08 PM