Fiqo.blogspot.com: An Exemplary Blog In All Aspects.

What to do once you have a stead.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

(In this post, my "stead" will be named Teseke. I know it sounds super stupid, but it is designed and structured in such a way that it wont coincide with anyone else's name in case you're going to like: "AfiQ you stead with HER arh"?)

Teenagers nowadays love to "stead". (Some teenagers*)

I don't know why, maybe they want to build a future TOGETHER AS ONE and earn money by asking their parents for it, while studying for exams, getting scolded by parents and teachers. I was playing soccer yesterday and there was this group of male students under the void deck and two pretty girls walking across. Then suddenly, two boys ran out and asked the girls for their number and got rejected, so the boys went back and shouted "I LOVE YOU!!!" to the girls.

I was like..."WTF?!"

Is that how boys relay their love to girls? The answer is...yes. In this post, I will TEACH you what to do after you just stead.

1) Change your MSN personal message to the date you both stead.

Why keep it a secret? Why do you want it to be between only you and your stead? Isn't it boring if no one asks you who your stead was? Why is your mother a virgin? Why is your hand phone on silent mode?

Yup, change your personal message to the date you both stead. You need to tell everyone when you stead-ed. This is to tell them that you have new responsibilities to take care of and to accomplish. Just kidding, its just to make people curious and ask you this question: "You got stead ARH!?"

You would say "yes, and her name is Teseke."

"HUH? WTF? Why you all stead?"

Now you reply with: "Shut up larh, haha, ask so many questions..."

See? This is just to attract attention and make you feel special. But actually, you're in big trouble, cause soon, your GF or BF will call you and sms you that she misses you and wants you to meet her under HER block and buy her cookies so SHE can eat it without YOU.

2) Take pictures together.

You need to take pictures TOGETHER! You and her are together now! Kiss her, hug her, touch her boobs and take pictures of all that. Then post it in facebook and friendster so everyone can see it and see that both of you are in a serious relationship. You wouldn't want them to see you both hold hands and "OMG THEY'RE HOLDING HANDS??!?!"

You want them to see you both hold hands and say: "Oh, chey~! They kiss and hug already, so never mind :D"

That is what you want. And if you don't want to touch her boobs and take pictures of that, using a Wii controller and slapping it there would be the same.

3) Put "forever" every time you type "love" in a sentence.

Previously it was: "Hey, I love you Teseke, would you want to stead with me?"

Now it is: "Hey, I love you Teseke, forever."

The word forever shows that you love her for as long as you're alive. In fact, it will last after you die, after you decompose and after you're in heaven with another pretty girl. Or, it will last even if you break up with her and stead with ANOTHER girl. Why? Because it is FOREVER!!!

4) Tell her that you miss her, love her and wants to be with her, for at least 25 times a day.

Hmm, you know why you get so many free SMSes? Because you need to tell her that you miss her and love her. A girl that has a stead can only last for thirty minutes, after that, her mood goes down and her mood is at at an all time low. You NEED to send her an sms by that time, if not, a break up is inevitable.

Example:

"Hey, AfiQ here. MISSES YOU :D At home now, but miss you a lot. And I love you too. Oh yeah, I miss you. And love you too! Do you miss me? Reply as soon as possible. Miss you <3

5) Put emo sentences in a smaller font.

An example:

__________________

Today was a normal day, nothing interesting happened, was just sitting around at home doing nothing much. Today was a normal day, nothing interesting happened, was just sitting around at home doing nothing much. Today was a normal day, nothing interesting happened, was just sitting around at home doing nothing much. Today was a normal day, nothing interesting happened, was just sitting around at home doing nothing much.

Hey baby Teseke, I know yesterday's incident made you feel bad, I am sorry okay? Love you always. It was just a mere misunderstanding...

_____________________

Notice the small words below the huge paragraph above? I don't know the actual reason why its smaller, maybe its to make you focus on them or maybe its to make you not notice them so much? But if its the latter, then why not make the words microscopically small or don't even type them? I don't understand!

6) Choose a cliche' sentence and put it as your display name in MSN.

You need those so that people think that you're very intelligent and smart and knows what having a relationship mean.

Something like:-

a) Love is not about who you live with... It's about who you can't live without.

b) Love is not finding a perfect person, it is seeing an imperfect person perfectly.

c) Love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener.

For c), its almost like saying: "Can is closed. Can-opener is the can-opener." or "Love is not blind. YOU are blind."

7) Now it is the time to go out together, and to a movie.

After missing each other so much, you would want to touch her physically and talk to her. Use this time to show your love to her:-

Step one: Say "I love you."

Step two: If her reply is yes, good, you're done. If not, proceed to step 3

Step three: Slap her face.

Once you're in the theater, have a nice small chat while waiting for the movie to start. This achieves two things: A dark quiet room is a very romantic place to talk. Secondly, no one wants to watch the advertisement at the beginning of the movie. During the movie, punch her boobs 5 times.

After the movie, you two need a place to talk about the experience. This is a probable conversation:

Me: I really enjoyed being with you, your heart was warm, you were sincere, you were pretty, all was great. How about you?

Teseke: I really enjoyed the movie.

8) Break up.

_______________________

Photo credits:

http://www.whoisandrewwee.com

http://www.stomp.sg

http://i184.photobucket.com/albums/x224/rozaliaialazor/love-monsta.jpg

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Crap.